Understanding Self-Injury

I wanted to share something with the general public on a topic that is raised again and again throughout our DeviantArt community. Although self-injury is not specifically Art or DA related, it is something that is depicted through Art quite frequently in the last few years here on DA, and is often a topic of debate as well. Pinning this topic on particular stereotypes is wrong, and we need to bring light to what it all really means. We need to do all we can to let our youth know that it ISN'T a constructive option nor a pretty path to walk on - that there is a better way.

Today, self-injury is glamourized, and it needs to stop. Now.

Please pass it on, and voice your opinions as well. I'd love to hear from you.

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They sit quietly in their darkened room, trapped and alone with their thoughts and victimized by their own sorrow. "My world has consumed me", she says, as she takes another cut across her arms, already lined with scar upon scar - some of them only days old, and some of them symbolic of the first days she did this to herself. These were a constant reminder of what she had become. She exhales a breath, and settles in for another night of sleep. "One more cut than last time", she says with a tear welling up in the corner of her eye. "One more mistake", and her eyes fall shut.

No one knew the pain in which she faced - she hid it beneath the sleeve of her shirt, and everything was fine again. She put on her happy face, and continued through her day - just wanting to get home at the end of it all so she could do it all over again.

A most frightening situation, yes? For people who have not dealt with self-injury first-hand, it can be difficult to understand exactly why somebody would want to deliberately hurt themselves, and even very scary. For the person involved, it can also be quite difficult to comprehend. But sadly, thousands upon thousands of teenagers and adults - both male and female, deal with this turmoil every single day, and when they aren't, their battles show through in the form of ugly red scars.

I should know - I was one of them. And understanding exactly why I did what I did took a long time. Nine years to be exact.

But it doesn't stop there - sel inury isn't only limited to cutting. Things like picking at scabs, digging nails into your own skin, burning your flesh, scratching yourself, breaking bones, biting your lips until they bleed, and pulling out your hair are all forms of self-injury. In fact, anything that is done deliberately to yourself as an intention to cause bodily harm could be considered self-injury, such as anorexia, popping pills, or excessive drinking, and it seems to be a trend that has grown from year to year - especially within the last ten years.

In the beginning, it could be that some people were just too ashamed of their habit to tell somebody. Harming oneself has become less and less of a taboo over the years, namely because it has been exposed to so many people through the media and the internet. Beforehand, self injury has hidden beneath a blanket of guilt and embarrassment for a very long time, and only now is it beginning to be exposed. The ones who are feeling this most especially are our kids and our youth. The guilt that comes with this habit as well as the stereotypes that the general public has placed on these people, though, has lead self-injurers into a world of secrecy, and many are afraid to come out.

What drives these people to such desperation? Excessive stress, the loss of a loved one, failing in school, career troubles, abuse in the family, or issues in the past left un-resolved - these are just a few of the things that could drive somebody to hurt themselves intentionally. The way I see it, there are three base reasons as to why somebody hurts themselves:

1) Hurting yourself can be done as a way of getting back for something in which has happened to them. A means of retaliation or revenge. These people may feel responsible for something, either in the past or present, and they hurt themselves as a means of self-punishment. In a case that somebody was abused, molested, or sexually assaulted - they may feel that they brought it upon themselves, that it is all their fault. They believe that they are weak and should be punished, thus giving into the guilt and self-hatred that they feel inside by hurting themselves.

2) Many hurt themselves to cope with a situation. Some people cry, yell, scream, or hit something. Instead, these people hurt themselves as a means of getting out anger or sadness. It is a way for them to cope with a situation, and to make them feel a temporary sense of relief. It is a very damaging way to cope, but it is a coping strategy nonetheless. Many self-injurers say that cutting gives them a release - a way for stress to simply disappear, and they feel fine again - although many get caught in the vicious cycle and must do it over and over again in order to continue to feel the results.

3) Self-injury is a way to control. Some may feel as though something is happening to them in which they have absolutely no control over. Somebody has died, their boyfriend has cheated on them, or their boss has fired them. Hurting themselves gives back what the situation may have taken away from them. They hold the blade - they can control exactly when to start, when to stop, how deep, and how many times they hurt themselves. When somebody feels that the given situation is out of hand, they use self-harm to get themselves back in control.

A lot of people start out small, and gradually do it more or worsen their wounds over a period of time. First comes the bad situation, and in response to the situation they hurt themselves to get a sense of relief. Time may go by, and the sense of relief will dissipate. The feeling of relief may wear off, or they may start to feel guilty about hurting themselves. All in all, it will lead back to even more self-injury. Eventually, the habit of self-injury itself may become the reason why they continue, thus, feeding the fire.

Bad Situation > Self-harm > Relief > Guilt > Self-harm > Relief > Guilt > Self-harm... the vicious and otherwise endless cycle.

Self-injury is not limited to any category or genre of people. Young and old. Male and Female. It does not stop at a particular race or ethnicity. It could be your family, your friend, your enemy, a stranger, a bully, and the picked-on. It is not limited to the "freaks" and "crazies", as you may call them - in fact, hurting oneself is so common now that someone you know is probably participating in this self-destructive act as I speak. Statistics show that females are more likely to hurt themselves over males, and although this is true, it does not mean that we should not be worried for males, as well.

Are these people freaks? Are they crazy? Of course not. These people have merely fallen into a habit that gives them a sense of relief. Hurting oneself often gives people a chemical rush - a burst of adrenalin and endorphins, which would explain the sense of relief people often feel before, during, and after they hurt themselves. These people should not be shunned nor avoided - they are human beings such as yourself, capable of feeling a tremendous amount of pain and heartache, and they are in some sort of emotional turmoil at this moment in time.

They may not have a learned a better coping strategy in life. Their parents may have been distant or very strict in not letting their children cry or get angry, and so they must learn other ways to release and cope with their emotional and mental stress. They have not learned more appropriate ways to vent their emotions, and they do this as a way to get everything out - quite literally, actually. For you see, in some cases - their blood may be seen symbolically as the draining of their troubles, and the body replenishes this blood to give them the comfort of a clean slate. To them, it is a way of starting over and trying again.

Some people hide their wounds very well, and many are careful not to get themselves in situations where a wound may be easily accessible or visible by somebody else. The evidence that someone is hurting themselves isn't always obvious, as it varies from person to person. Many say nothing of their problem, and many deal with it on their own. But there are also a few who may be open about it - so always watch, and always listen.

There are both physical and emotional signs that someone may be hurting themselves. Have they been acting distant or depressed lately? Sometimes they just won't seem like their normal "chipper" self, and may shy away from the activities in which they used to love. They might not be as social as they usually are, and tend to spend a lot of their time locked in their room or bathroom, and away from other family members.

Have you noticed that they have been acting strangely when you get near them? They may be sketchy, on edge, or jumpy whenever you get close to a certain area. This may be that they protecting their wounds or keeping their distance from a possibly visual encounter. Several heavy thick bracelets, fabric bandage wraps, arm warmers, and wrist cuffs are a relatively common way for people to hide their wounds. A lot of the time, people will wear long sleeve shirts even in the Summer time just so people won't see their scars. They may hold their arms in a specific way so that their scars will not be exposed to those around them. Sometimes their wounds are easily explained, and they make excuses that it was purely accidental.

If you are concerned that your child may be cutting, checking their laundry might be reliable. The insides of their shirt sleeves may contain blood stains, strange red lines of blood, or other remnants of blood somewhere else. In pants, you may also want to check for stains - and even sharp objects such as safety pins, tacks, compasses, sharpeners, or razorblades stuck in their pockets or stashed in the bathroom and bedroom can be a giveaway of their behavior. Some of these signs may be far fetched coincidences, but combined with depressive behavior it could be a problem.

If you know somebody who is hurting themselves, try to ease them into conversation. Don't come out and say that what they are doing is stupid and that you are going to call the mental institution. This will surely frighten them away. Tell them how much they mean to you, as you are talking to them in a very difficult time. Bring up the topic lightly, and try not to pass judgement on their habit - keep an open mind, and most importantly - listen to what they have to say. Tell them that you are there for them, and give them the assurance that if there is something wrong that you will do everything in your power to help or get help for them.

There is much help available. Things like group sessions, therapy, self help books, or even medication can often be helpful. There are many websites that list off many substitutions to cutting, so if you self-injure or you know somebody who self-injures, print them off a list of these things, as they can often help in a time of need. The key to getting past this difficult times is reminding yourself of the positive things in your life, and many of your favorite activities and hobbies can be used as a tool to developing a better coping strategy.

The key, though, is to search for the underlying cause - and sometimes, you can't do this alone. Talk to a councillor, a teacher, a friend, a family member, or your doctor - they will help you get the relief you deserve.

Self-injury is rarely ever a suicide attempt, but merely a way to avoid going over the edge. In a suicide attempt, people commonly tend to choose another way to go through with it, such as a shot to the head or hanging themselves. In rare cases, people who cut themselves may kill themselves un-intentionally by hitting a vein or arterie. This is relatively uncommon, but it does happen. It is important to know that most people who hurt themselves often are not using it as an attempt to end their life, although they are considered a risk.

If you would like to get more of an understanding of the mind of a self-injurer, I would suggest visiting www.psyke.org. It is a very thorough website which gives detailed information on the habit, and is also home to many self-injurers who share their stories on the topic. It gives many resources, such as medical facilities, self-help references, and even books written by people who self-injure and have decided to make their stories public. These things may help those in need. A word of warning - some of the content on Psyke.org may be graphic, and could also be triggering to those who self-injure. Please take care of yourself, and stay safe.

Written By: Kimberly Hart (Yep, that's me.)
Original Source: www.helium.com/items/892415-un…